For those times when you want to Kick Yourself....

What happens in those times when you mess up, get it wrong, repeat the same old mistakes?

Have you ever felt regretful, unproud of your thoughts or actions?  I know I have! 

There are times when it can feel like no matter how much I learn and read, progress and develop that I'll repeat some old habit, some old thinking pattern and feel like Im never going to learn.

Thinking and related behaviours become habitual and like with any habit we want to change...it is hard!  We become addicted even though you might be unaware of it or not fully conscious of it. 

When we do become aware, we can vow to change our ways and adopt new habits and patterns.  All goes well and then Bam! We fall off the wagon and we feel like we've lost the fight.

I had an occasion recently where I just felt utterly hopeless at my improvement.  It was a day where it felt like I'm always going to resort back to a certain way of thinking and behaving because of my habits, how I grew up, the conditionings that I have taken on....but where would that leave me?  If I give in to my shame or guilt, or internal beating myself up, I certainly do not feel good about myself and no one else will benefit either.

So we notice, we observe, we take a step back and even smile- a bump in the road, a little receding in your progress and efforts, it is all ok.  How long would you say physically it has taken you to learn a specific new skill?  How often would you say you might fall out or stumble in a Yoga pose, or have to start walking on a run, take a break or turn back on a long hike?  We don't need to kick ourselves or beat ourselves up for these occurrences, we simply say, thats ok, I'll try again.  So it is the same with our mindset, our thinking and our behaviours.  We strive to be the best versions of ourselves, the versions we desire and feel true connection to and when we hit set backs and our own human foibles, we begin again.

'On this path, effort never goes to waste, and there is no failure.' Bhagavad Gita

Meditation with Elements Yoga

Meditation

Take a comfortable seat with an upright spine.  Sit on a cushion or against a wall if you need.  Set your timer for 4 minutes.

Soften your shoulders, your jaw and your breath.  Feel your spine lengthen and your sit bones ground down.

Bring your eyes softly closed.

Become aware of your breath, your inhale and your exhale. When you notice your mind wander or you begin to follow thoughts, bring your awareness back to your breath.

Begin to visualise a time where you have felt frustrated at yourself.  Notice your feelings and thoughts as a witness without judgement.  

Begin to visualise a warm light surrounding you and comforting you and we each breath you feel this warmth.

Bring your awareness then back to your great and repeat to yourself, 'I do the best that I can in any given moment.'

Once you hear your timer sound bring your awareness back to your body, notice your sit bones grounded and your spine lengthened and you can open your eyes.

Reflections

Following your meditation, journal about your visualisation, thoughts and feelings you observed.

Read back over your writing.

If you were listening to a friend tell you what you have wrote, what would you say to them to comfort them?  

How would you reassure and give them support?

Write down your thoughts and read them a loud to yourself.

Create a mantra for yourself for the next time you feel frustrated at yourself, the next time you feel disappointed or hopeless....have this mantra written somewhere you can see and remind yourself of it often and when you need.

 

 

Your 3rd option.....

Have you ever noticed how certain reactions you have to situations never quite get the results you would like?

Often in life when we are faced with difficulties or problems we tend to react in two ways.  

The first being to ignore the problem or the challenge which of course leads to suppressed feelings and un dealt with emotions and issues.

The second way is, when the problem crops up, to face it head on to complete exhaustion which more than likely leads you back to approach one!

We tend to use these two approaches over and over, neither of which being entirely successful.

The good news is, there is a 3rd option.  

With any problems or issues that you are facing, take a couple of moments to sit with the exact issue at hand and bring it into a simple meditation practice.  Allow yourself to observe how you feel and what thoughts occur around the issue.  Without judgement or criticism or wanting things to be another way, just observation.

In this way you give yourself time to become aware of what exactly the issue is calling from you, what exactly the situation may be that you may be having trouble with.  In this way giving yourself some uninterrupted time to allow new ways of responding to develop.

This in time means that you are not a) avoiding the issue or b) banging your head against a wall with it.  You are now capable of using a new response to effectively move forward with awareness and clarity.

Your problems or challenges will not go away but your ability to deal with them can drastically change as you learn to take a step back.

Often in the company of others or when listening to others opinions and stories it can become extremely confusing at times to make choices and decide what the best thing to do in a situation is.  For me taking some time out really helps with aligning what I feel is truly the best decision to move forward with.

The next time something crops up for you, where you feel challenged or unsure and you have a feeling of wanting to rush in and run away at the same time, try the 3rd option and see what happens.........